April 5, 2007

We woke up this morning and fed Diana a soft boiled egg with orange juice. Diana’s Mom wanted to go grocery shopping. There is a huge HEB Store about 1 mile from our house. So at 10:30 I told Diana I was going to drop her Mother off at the grocery store. I came back home in about 10 minutes. Once she finished shopping, Mom would call me to pick her up. In the meantime I tried to give Diana her 10:30 AM tea. For some reason, she did not want to drink it. I tried for a little while to get her to drink it with no success. I stopped trying at that time. No need to upset Diana any more than I already had. In my mind, I would just give it to her at a later time.

Around 11:30, Diana;s Mom called and told me she was ready for me to pick her up. I went in to the bedroom and told Diana I was leaving to get her mother. When I arrived back to the house after getting Mom, Diana was breathing heavily and had some shortness of breath. I was not able to communicate verbally with her. I connected her to the oxygen machine. After about 30 min on oxygen she talked to me a little.

In the meantime I called the Hospice nurse to report on what happened. Hospice dispatched 24 hour nurse coverage starting this afternoon. They also delivered a hospital bed which was set up next to our bed in our bedroom. By 2:30 PM, two of the nurses lifted and moved Diana to the hospital bed. Diana is now sleeping in the hospital bed.

I have been with Diana all afternoon and she has lost her ability to speak. I can make eye contact with her and she is somewhat aware of what is occurring around her. She can no longer sit, stand or move. I put my finger in her hand – asked her to squeeze it and she did. So she can still hear and understand me. All I have been doing is standing by her bedside, my finger in her hand and telling her how much I love her. I asked her for a kiss. Diana worked hard to pucker her lips a little – I leaned over and she gave me a kiss best she could. Her eyes smiled at me as I drew away. About 6 PM tonight, Diana closed her eyes and is resting peacefully.

This change in her condition has happened very suddenly. Looking back, the signs have been there for a couple of weeks. I did not want to accept what the signs were telling me.

The only good thing I can say today is that Diana is not in lots of pain while she is laying in the hospital bed. The nurses have told me it is now only a matter of time. I did not want to hear those words. Obviously the nurses have been through this situation before. I appreciate all that they are doing for Diana. But…this should not be happening.